It really meant a lot to us. I like to go back and read this particular blog. Thank you Eric, for being our friend and making us feel special on your blog- especially since you don't write about anything you DON'T want to write about.
This sort of post doesn’t come around very often. If you’re someone who is close to me in some fashion and you die, I’ll probably write something like this. Before you go killing yourself for your 15 seconds of fame, it appears as though marriages are sufficient as well. Since I have contributed nothing more than a pair of half used underwear to Tim and Jo’s wedding so far, it seems appropriate that I dedicate some words to them as they set sail for the glistening shores of holy matrimony.
I know a lot of competent people. I trust at least a solid handful; the group of guys I am associated with in Maryland leads the league in honesty and responsibility and I have a strong family with some friends built up along the way whose talents span many skill sets. Even though I would trust them with most anything, there is an inner core of people who I would trust with something that NEEDED to be done. I don’t know if this is a concept which makes sense to other people, as other people aren’t typically as demanding on themselves and others as I am, but I have learned an unfortunate thing about humanity in the last few years of college and gainful employment. You can’t count on most people to do things well if there is not some overriding benefit for them. I’ve tried for about 4 half-sentences to explain this further and illustrate how this doesn’t necessarily manifest itself in results, but I really can’t. The point is, if I had a need, some favor which needed to be done and needed to be done right, I would only ask a few people. Not only must one be competent, but one must also be willing. I know people who I trust, who are great friends, but who make it seem like a chore to ask a favor of them, as though I’m weighing down their life by having some need in mine. Once you remove those people, I’m left with a select few people who I trust can get a job done, and who I feel comfortable asking to do it.
Tim is one of those people. He is competent in many arenas, a strong grounded Christian, but not one who is so caught up in reigning himself into the belief system that he fails to recognize that not everyone operates by the same rules that we do. He has experience in the secular world, and takes it as part of his existence, not as something to hide from or try to forget. Lives change over time, but to intentionally forget our past makes whatever problems we have overcome completely meaningless. Tim hasn’t done this. As a result, I respect, and I use the word “respect” sparingly, Tim’s opinion more than almost anyone’s. He gives sound advice, advice grounded in reality but governed by the overarching truths of Christ. He does things well most all the time, not because he’s perfect but because he’s learned from experience what happens when one doesn’t do things well. He has a sense of justice, and a desire to see the right thing happen, even if it means going out of his way to make it that way. I would trust Tim with almost anything.
This includes his taste in women. Before he sold the farm for Jo, I had developed a different respect for Tim, because, despite being very private about his personal matters, he had always shown me that he has an eye for beauty. It turns out that beauty, while correlated to physical appearance, manifests itself in many other ways. One can be the most sexually appealing woman on the planet and lack beauty, as it is the inner quality of a woman which transforms sexual allure into beauty. Sexuality sculpts the statue, but it is beauty which elevates it on a pedestal, it is beauty which allows for a woman to transcend her environment to become something more, something almost innately “holy”, separated and elevated.
Jo, it turns out, is a beautiful woman. I would say that Tim is a lucky man, but if anyone deserves a woman like Jo, it is Tim. She also has her finger on the pulse of reality, yet is governed by that which is from above. It seems to me that so many Christians live by that song, “From a Distance,” where “God” is watching over the earth, seeing that it is at peace, seeing that there is harmony. I’ve never understood why people latch on to that song as a song of hope. It is a song of delusion. The world is NOT at peace. There is NOT harmony, and to consider its existence from a vantage point where that is all one sees is to commit a sin against the reality of the world in which we live. It takes a certain amount of respect to acknowledge the reality of a person, of a society and of a species, and Jo has that respect. She is IN the world, but not OF it. She understands that it exists, even though she does not let it govern her life. This makes her invaluable for advice as well. She understands people (she has a psychoanalysis background, which makes her very fun for me to poke at), understands the world, yet has chosen to live in a different fashion. Add that perspective to her genuine kindness and concern, her ability to understand and produce humor, and her penchant for sweetness and tendency to nurture, and you have a fine woman.
A few weeks ago when I was oppressed by a depression that only a select few know the root cause of, I went to Tim and Jo for advice. They knew that I was struggling with things and people in a way which wasn’t necessarily beneficial for my sanity, but they also understood that sometimes that is just the way that the human mind and heart work. I got advice from them, I went into prayer with them, and I trusted them with information which has an indelible importance to me. They listened, they did what they could to help, and they planned for a contingency which wasn’t to be. I wondered more than once yesterday if there was an empty chair next to me at table 5 for a reason. Whether or not it was by design is immaterial, I have enough faith in them as people, and now as a unified entity, to draw me immediately do that conclusion. They are the sort of people who I would trust with the contingencies, and only those who care for your best interests even bother to look past the direct request to consider the ancillary results. These are the select people who you can really trust.
To Tim and Jo, I extend my congratulations. You deserve each other.
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